Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

She wouldn’t have a Willy or a Sam. I’m her 3rd old man, I’m George, George the 3rd I am!

The Third George — Jean Plaidy/Victoria Holt

You know what this is? This is simply a question of, uh, maintenance! That’s it, maintenance! So get me some Super Glue. Or some Duct Tape. And find my other leg for me, will you, Ernest? I think that horse ran off with it.

Prisoner of My Desire — Johanna Lindsey

Blast from the past: OP on Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Alert reader greenjeans1978 spotted a recycled cover. But not in the “Uncle Walter and The Wife have forgotten to put that cover in the used covers folder and posted it again” way. Rather in the “wait a darn minute here…” kind of way.

So we’re having a Cover Showdown! Which book wore it worse? Defiant Spitfire by Kay McMahon:

Or Lord of the Night by Connie Mason:

Vote now!

Defiant Spitfire — Kay McMahon
Lord of the Night — Connie Mason

P.S. Apparently we’ve purchased “Lord of the Night” twice. This one is the Large Print, but we used the “regular print” in our prior post.

When your phlebotomist is a 1,500 pound bull.

Apache Fire — Elizabeth Lane

Blast from the past: OP on Sunday, February 20, 2011

Is your horse hugging me? Or did Pino just forget the rest of my body? He clearly forgot your spine.

Jade — Norah Hess

Damn Flanders for coming out too soon! We almost had him deprogrammed!

Courting Callie — Lynn Erickson

Blast from the past: OP on Saturday, February 19, 2011

Niche of the niche: partially limbless bobble-headed sex dolls. They sold all of two. To the same guy.

Literotica — Lori Selke

After excessive groping she finally found his “weapon” leading to an arrest after an unexpected “discharge.”

Body Search — Jessica Anderson

Blast from the past: OP on Friday, February 18, 2011

Yellow tones will never make them look anything but jaundiced.

Lord of the Night — Connie Mason

For when they sliced it through his neck, blood began to spurt around.

Season of Glory — Ron & Janet Benrey

Blast from the past: OP on Thursday, February 17, 2011

The shirt budget was the first to go.

Lone Star Surrender — Lisa Renee Jones

“Beached whale.” Snort. Once you see the back cover you’ll understand:

“All she could do was hope that one day, their hearts would speak louder than any words could…” Good luck with that. The heart’s going to have to yell PRET-ty darn loud in order to get the hearing impaired guy’s attention.

Really, though… what’s up with that foot? Why would they put it there?

Words Unspoken — Suzanne Ellison

Blast from the past: OP on Wednesday, February 16, 2011

There is not a single part on her body that is properly proportioned. Not to mention that her neck is broken.

The Lady Most Willing — Julia Quinn, Eloisa James, Connie Brockway

But it was where he had inked “Eat Maine Potatoes” that was really quite impressive.

Murphy’s Law — Marilyn Pappano

Blast from the past: OP on Tuesday, February 15, 2011

It occasionally growls.

It’s not very helpful.

The Ravening — Dawn Thompson