This is why we can’t have nice things

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No one likes Dark Phoenix.

Firelight — Kristen Callihan

It’s all downhill from here.

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Literally.

The Master’s Touch — Lynda Trent

Amazon women in the mood

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Watch out for leeches!

Island Enchantress — Joyce Myrus

See those eyebrows? Those are his serious eyebrows.

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Someone’s getting shot and it’s not going to be him.

The Mysterious Maid-Servant — Barbara Cartland

The difference between a verb and a noun.

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The verb involves more sex and fewer trips to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Bedding the Baron — Deborah Raleigh

There’s something familiar about this cover…

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We just can’t quite put our fingers on it.

Portrait of a Scandal — Annie Burrows

We’re seeing. Still working on believing.

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Why is perspective so hard???

Seeing is Believing — Erin McCarthy

Not to keep harping on perspective or anything…

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But… perspective. It’s a thing. Use it.

Cheyenne Splendor — Georgina Gentry

I don’t think this relationship is going to work out.

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The truth is, he finds you a little clingy.

Silver Deceptions — Deborah Martin

Pretty sure this counts as at least mildly dubious consent…

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"Put out, or he’ll throw you into the bushes."

Pine needles are sharp!

Evergreen — Delia Parr

Approaching intercourse on the right. Ahead exit right.

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Recalculating route. Turn around when possible. Make a legal U-Turn

Left of Sex — Stacey Clubb

Title seems prophetic. Answer is apparently “fighting over some girl.”

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She’s rooting for scrawny dude over the dude with the big butt.

Bonus back cover blurb:

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The Way Some People Die — John Ross Macdonald

The birth of a racist cover

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Didn’t even have to push much. It just came right out. 

Steal the Flame — Joanne Redd

Commemorative Locket

With only one kiss 2

So you’ll always remember your first strangulation.

With Only One Kiss — Sonya T. Pelton