Get so much more with “Discount Portrait Studios”

Sears might give you a family, but we’ll give you someone else’s home, a “girlfriend,” and hair.

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Detour to Love — Deborah Macgillivray

Instant Family, courtesy of the Sears Portrait Studio.

Still better than “We’re the Millers.”

Anna’s Child — Angel Milan

You know how you personalize your video game character to be as ugly as possible?

It’s like that.

P.S. This is The Boy’s Saint’s Row IV character:

Hm…

Like A Curse — Keira Levett

This is why you don’t get discount breast augmentation.

The higher priced implants don’t explode.

Taming the Beast — Brooklynn Rivers

That’s not a compass.

No, really.

Finding North — Rachel Dunning

That look says: how do they get those nipples so perky?

Our guess: Nipple Fluffers. 

Being Prince Charming — D.L. Jackson

There are, like, three extraterrestrial kind of things on this cover.


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Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

No judging!

Bug Bite — Phoebe Quenella Wordsworth

Whatever that is, we’re all grossed out.

Go take a shower. Now.

Bring Me Fire — Emily Stone

Guess who just got a Bedazzler?

This guy!

FYI: Bedazzler.

Bluegrass State of Mind — Kathleen Brooks

Pretty lady… Kissing… Fun…

SQUIRREL!

Predator & Prey — James D. Horton

You might want to reconsider whatever it is you’re thinking of doing with that.

Because that wolf is 2000% done with you today.

Alpha Lust: A Wolf’s Embrace — Ashley Spector

They were going to have the sparkliest vampire of all sparkly vampires…

And it would be fabulous.

Dark Dreams — Kristie K. Shafer, Kristen Middleton

Wife? Well, we do remember something about a cello player.

Or at least someone who uses a bow.

Coulson’s Wife — Anna J. McIntyre

Only you can prevent forest fires.

By, you know, not being on fire.

Shifting Fates — Aubrey Rose & Nadia Simonenko

Are we just ignoring the fact that he’s on fire? Yes?

Photo (29) - Edited

Okay, then.

Taken by the Ghost — Jillian Valentine