Vampires On Ice was set to be the next big hit, but closed after a single performance.

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Should have used an indoor venue.

An Unwanted Hunger — Ciana Stone

The physics here just won’t work.

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They must be his training wings.

Bad Cupid — A.D. Cooper

Get a room, guys!

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No, really, get a room.

Getting Naked at the Hilton — Dee Dawning

Romance novels are so unrealistic…

scarletlady109:

badromancenovelcovers:

Heart of midnight

In real life, guys just won’t hold your hair off your face while you vomit.

Heart of Midnight — Fiona Brand

I mean, he better be holding my hair off of my face. If I am pregnant, he put that thing in my vagina. He is 85% responsible for it.

Okay, well, see, now I feel like we need to have a discussion about the differences between a vagina and a uterus. lol

On a more serious note, shortly after I moved 1,000 miles away to be with Uncle Walter, I got very, very sick. To the point where he had to help me to the shower, hold me up, and wash me, because I physically lacked the strength to do it on my own. He had to help me to the toilet and pull down my pants for me. Thankfully I was still able to wipe myself. But really, I mean, I was THAT sick, then spent 6 days in the hospital and almost needed massive surgery (except his parents did a TON of research for me and figured out that I really didn’t, for which I am very grateful). And what that did was cement in my mind that, while there are people who will help you and people who will be there for you, it’s the person who will actually help you use the bathroom that you really want to keep. Over the years I’m pleased to say that I have never regretted the decision to keep him, and also that I’ve been able to return the favor. :)

Romance novels are so unrealistic…

Heart of midnight

In real life, guys just won’t hold your hair off your face while you vomit.

Heart of Midnight — Fiona Brand

"Whoa. Now that’s ice. I might cry."

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"Go ahead. I won’t judge."

Because the GIANT ICE HORSE and the people in the background (especially the guy in the wig) are kind of more interesting.

The Heart’s Gamble — Cynthia Richey

He’s just as confused as we are.

Zane's way

Just where, exactly, is that leg coming from?

Zane’s Way — Maggie Casper

"She falls for the scarred fighter-dolphin Cosmo and love inspires her to achieve her purpose."

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You know what? Forget it. We don’t even want to know.

Ripple: A Dolphin Love Story — Tui Allen

It’s like the creepy baby head in the sun from Teletubbies, only hairy.

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"Why did you just take off your shirt?"

"My contract says I have to every ten minutes of screen time."

It’s a werewolf thing. You probably wouldn’t understand.

Ravaged by the Pack — Ellen Waite

That explains Oz…

Cousin kate

It wasn’t a dream, it was a bad acid trip.

Cousin Kate — Georgette Heyer

He’ll have his PUA degree in only 5 weeks…

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The cattle won’t know what hit ‘em.

Learning to Love — Amelia Rose

Where’s Chris Martin when you need him?

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Oh, forget it. Just put the hat in front of their faces.

Kissed by a Cowboy — Lacy Williams

If he somehow manages not to die THIS time…

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He’ll probably just shoot his dick off.

Dead Again — Tracy Cooper-Posey

Cowboys are always in high demand in the world of sex-trafficking…

Kidnapped Cowboy Cover

It’s a niche market with high return on investments.

Kidnapped Cowboy — Lindsey Brookes

Down time during the zombie apocalypse…

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He liked her for her brains.

Emerald Fire — Julia Grice