Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Covers

Dream warrior, I believe you can get me through the night

badromancenovelquotes — Fri, 24 May 2013 22:40:47 -0400

Dream warrior, I believe we can reach the morning light… What? Not the best pithy caption? ...

This is your last chance to own The Home Weaponry Network's February "Sword of the Month"

badromancenovelquotes — Fri, 24 May 2013 22:38:02 -0400

Order now and receive this fine O’Neil Sword! But, wait that’s not all! Order within...

Just checking.

badromancenovelquotes — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:16:29 -0400

Yep. Still there! Wild Heart — Lori Brighton

I like to pick up guys on the rebound from a disappointing relationship.

badromancenovelquotes — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:14:13 -0400

They’re much more in need of solace and they’re fairly open to suggestion. And, I use...

I got married to the widow next door, She's been married 2 times before, And every one was a George

badromancenovelquotes — Wed, 22 May 2013 21:29:50 -0400

She wouldn’t have a Willy or a Sam. I’m her 3rd old man, I’m George, George the...

Help me! My legs aren't working! Help me!

badromancenovelquotes — Wed, 22 May 2013 21:27:05 -0400

You know what this is? This is simply a question of, uh, maintenance! That’s it,...

Cover Showdown: Who wore it worse?

badromancenovelquotes — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:27:26 -0400

Alert reader greenjeans1978 spotted a recycled cover. But not in the “Uncle Walter and The...

Blood donation can be risky...

badromancenovelquotes — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:15:40 -0400

When your phlebotomist is a 1,500 pound bull. Apache Fire — Elizabeth Lane Blast from the...

This is... Extremely awkward. Really, really awkward.

badromancenovelquotes — Mon, 20 May 2013 20:49:22 -0400

Is your horse hugging me? Or did Pino just forget the rest of my body? He clearly forgot your...

Do you love The Leader more than having your very own brand new Hover Horse?

badromancenovelquotes — Mon, 20 May 2013 20:45:00 -0400

Damn Flanders for coming out too soon! We almost had him deprogrammed! Courting Callie — Lynn...

Niche market: Bobble-headed sex dolls

badromancenovelquotes — Sun, 19 May 2013 20:00:11 -0400

Niche of the niche: partially limbless bobble-headed sex dolls. They sold all of two. To the same...

The TSA's Advanced Imaging Technology isn't flawless

badromancenovelquotes — Sun, 19 May 2013 19:55:34 -0400

After excessive groping she finally found his “weapon” leading to an arrest after an...

goodkwuestion replied to your post: A romance novel cover is NEVER a Spring. Get the idea out of your head now...

badromancenovelquotes — Sat, 18 May 2013 22:21:17 -0400

Don’t hate; Yellow fever can be sexy… There’s a fetish for everyone, and everyone has a...

A romance novel cover is NEVER a Spring. Get the idea out of your head now.

badromancenovelquotes — Sat, 18 May 2013 18:49:01 -0400

Yellow tones will never make them look anything but jaundiced. Lord of the Night — Connie...

There must have been some magic in that old machette they found

badromancenovelquotes — Sat, 18 May 2013 18:46:55 -0400

For when they sliced it through his neck, blood began to spurt around. Season of Glory — Ron...

Sequestration has hit the Texas State Troopers especially hard

badromancenovelquotes — Sat, 18 May 2013 18:42:11 -0400

The shirt budget was the first to go. Lone Star Surrender — Lisa Renee Jones

"Thar be whales here!" "What?!" "I said, thar be whales here!" "What?!" "I said... Oh, never mind."

badromancenovelquotes — Fri, 17 May 2013 23:03:25 -0400

“Beached whale.” Snort. Once you see the back cover you’ll understand: ...

lalalorhen: badromancenovelquotes: lalalorhen: badromancenovel...

badromancenovelquotes — Fri, 17 May 2013 12:06:00 -0400

lalalorhen:

badromancenovelquotes:

lalalorhen:

badromancenovelquotes:

Someone found a copy of the script at the Smithsonian. No real spoilers and parts are crossed out, but someone DID say they saw this particular scene being filmed yesterday.

— The Wife

I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. I JUST WISH SOMEBODY WOULD SNEAK INTO ONE OF TRAILERS AND STEAL A COPY OF THE WHOLE SCRIPT.
MAN, IF ONLY I WAS THERE…

Honestly, you probably don’t want that. I tried VERY hard not to get actual spoilers (these scenes honestly don’t show any actual plot line or real character interaction, which is why — out of the many pages — I chose them). But while I was flipping through the pages to find this, I did catch an unintentional spoiler. It’s not going to ruin the movie for me, but it’s something I would rather not have known.

— The Wife

You did right!
I mean, you did right choosing these pictures to upload instead of others -possibly much more *spoilery*.
There are TONS of people out there who -rightly so- don’t like spoilers at all. People who avoid even trailers and clips until the movie is finally out. And we all must respect their choice, choosing carefully what we publish for all people to see.

What I want, on the other hand, is different. I’m a spoiler-hunter. I actually ENJOY knowing things beforehand. I might be clinically insane, I know, but that’s who I am xDD

And I envy you, because I’d give ANYTHING to be able to flip through those pages and read -eat- every single word.

It doesn’t ruin the movie to me -it’ll always be different to see everything on screen- it actually gives me enormous satisfaction.

I’m crazy LOL Everyone around here knows it!

I’m like that with SOME things. And definitely if I think something is going to upset me. Like when Harry Potter 7 came out, given Rowling’s tendency to *kill everyone off* I made my husband read it first so that he could tell me whether I would be okay reading it or if it would piss me off.

And he tells me about movies all the time — but not the BIG ones. Meaning not when I actually care about it.

If you’d really, really, REALLY like a spoiler, I can PM you what I caught. And then you’ll know something no one else does. :D

— The Wife

Of course she's willing. When you're this deformed, you'll take what you can get!

badromancenovelquotes — Fri, 17 May 2013 12:01:33 -0400

There is not a single part on her body that is properly proportioned. Not to mention that her neck...

She was one of the few who had ever seen his "Buy Blue Pants" tattoo.

badromancenovelquotes — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:59:32 -0400

But it was where he had inked “Eat Maine Potatoes” that was really quite...