This is still legal in, like, 15 states.

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But we still don’t want to read about it.

Rancher Romance Series Trilogy — Amelia Rosa

Try not to land on anyone with angry, vengeful relatives.

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And for God’s sake, if you’re offered a pair of shoes, don’t take them. 

Murder in the Wind — John D. Macdonald

They were unable to capture the elusive sound of a weeping vulva

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An omni-directional microphone could have saved them a lot of unnecessary pubic taunting and achieved a successful first take.

Sweet Renegade — Andria Large

He’s not sick…

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He’s just a little horse.

Breaking the Bad Boy — Vanessa Lennox

Quality often decreases as the number of sequels increases.

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Liam Neeson isn’t even in this one. Which is okay by us. We really don’t want to see that.

Taken — Selena Kitt

scarabattoli said: Waiiiiit, there is a series about the naughty adventures of Baseball players wifes?

There is a sub-genre/trope for EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING.

I received a cybernetic alarm from a frightened group of ants!

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And this is why I prefer to work with ants.

Perfect Pitch — Mindy Klasky

They were clearly meant to be together. They had so much in common!

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Like being molded out of plastic and that they were designed by a 12-year-old boy whose ideas of “sexy” come from comic books.

The Demon’s Mate — Sam Cheever

I’m not dead yet!

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I feel fine! 

Plague of Love — Morris Fenris & Jasmine Bowen

scarabattoli said: It has everything. Twilight reference, man beef acting like a little scared girl, implied non-human snoo snoo (“new species”) and what seems to be bad photoshopped long hair.

In fairness (I do try to be fair), it’s not actually a Twilight reference. That’s just the name of an Ellora’s Cave line. They also have Exotica, Moderne, Spectrum, Presents, Blush, and Aeon, among others.

The rest you’re spot on with. :D

Life isn’t a game of peek-a-boo.

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We can still see you.

Slade — Laurann Dohner

elizabethplaid said: Not a romance novel, but the cover art for Andrew Davidson’s “The Gargoyle” is relatively good, as far tattoos go.amazon.com/gp/prod…

Looks like that’s a model who actually has those tattoos. However,… wow, those lines are not good. The upper left corner of the wing is a pretty glaring shake in the lines.

So… it looks more realistic as a tattoo, but it looks, realistically, like a bad tattoo.

scarabattoli said: It’s just me or the tattoos looks like bad photoshops?

It’s not just you — I’m CERTAIN they are.

When tattoos are on book covers like this, it’s generally because the character has tattoos . Since the odds of finding a model with the same kinds (especially when they’re usually really crappy tattoo ideas) is all but non-existent, the artist pastes tattoos onto them on the cover.

We have yet to see a good cover-model tattoo, to be honest. They ALL look photoshopped, or they look drawn on with marker. I wish artists would stop doing this and authors would stop requesting them!

Why can’t party invitations be clear on appropriate attire?

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He hated being over-dressed.

Krinos — T.I. Smith

Do you know how many men have shot off their own penises?

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Don’t become a statistic.

Winter’s Heat — Cristin Harber