I think you were a bit misleading in your OKCupid profile.

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That is a jet and you own it. But it would need to be at least… three times bigger than this!

Flown by the Billionaire — Carla Davis

Don’t become a hairless statistic. Wear your safety gear.

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Each of the workers in the oil and gas extraction and support industry wears OSHA mandated flame-resistant clothing to prevent their chest hair from being burnt off like what happened here.

Black Gold — Ruby Laska

theahole said: I guess I just like looking at butts & legs more than ogling dicks. But I agree that they’re uncomfortable on women—the only kind of gym shorts I ever had.

I am greedy. I want the *whole package.* Pun most definitely intended.

scarabattoli said: This man has several issues with his shoulders…

He also appears to be missing his right arm. Poor man.

theahole said: I like to look at dude’s legs. I miss those shorts.

No. No, no, no. I have to disagree. I have to disagree because even really hot guys, with otherwise well defined packages, turn up in short-shorts and suddenly it’s all, WHERE THE HELL IS THEIR DICK? Are they tucking??? Because There’s NOTHING THERE.

Same guy! What happened to it?! Legs nice? Sure. But I’d rather see a little less leg than see *absolutely nothing else.*

No. No, I maintain my stance against short-shorts.

(Personally I don’t like them much on women, either. Because they always seem to give a full crotch wedgie, and that shit just looks uncomfortable.)

It was the 80s. Everyone did things they’re not proud of.

Surrender

Men in short-shorts is one of those things.

Surrender — Emily Carmichael

Is that, like, the rich person version of Mentos and Diet Coke?

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Also, did a lady from a Robert Palmer video just get married? Is that what just happened here?

Champagne and Lemon Drops — Jean Oram

scarabattoli said: Addams Familiy, right?

Yup!

I conked out at, like, 6:30 p.m. last night (which may explain why I’m up until 4 a.m. tonight), so UW did this one on his own. He said she looked very, very white, and a bit like Wednesday.

You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations.

Lady of the Line

Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.”

Lady of the Line — Craig Barstow

She REALLY had to go.

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Soon that will be “Natural Spring Water.”

True Love and Other Disasters — Rachel Gibson

Ten of them involve cats. The other ten are about bones.

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He never claimed to be deep.

Twenty Wishes — Debbie Macomber

theahole said: That’s a BIG bed.

I imagine her suspended from the ceiling by her ankles.

¿uʍop-ǝpısdn noʎ ǝɹɐ ʎɥʍ

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I’m not upside-down. You’re upside-down.

Undeniably Yours — Shannon Stacey

Not sure if he’s wearing nude stretchy pants…

Touch of lace

Or wore a long sleeved shirt while sun bathing.

Touch of Lace — Elizabeth DeLancey

We’ve got a case of Buttaface. When everything’s hot but the face. And that one nipple.

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Eh. Just stick a hat on him.

Also, throw in a really creepy looking covered wagon. That should distract the eye.

Orchids in Moonlight — Patricia Hagan