She REALLY had to go.

Photo (26)

Soon that will be “Natural Spring Water.”

True Love and Other Disasters — Rachel Gibson

Ten of them involve cats. The other ten are about bones.

Scan_20140602 (15)

He never claimed to be deep.

Twenty Wishes — Debbie Macomber

theahole said: That’s a BIG bed.

I imagine her suspended from the ceiling by her ankles.

¿uʍop-ǝpısdn noʎ ǝɹɐ ʎɥʍ

Scan_20140416 (15) - Edited (1)

I’m not upside-down. You’re upside-down.

Undeniably Yours — Shannon Stacey

Not sure if he’s wearing nude stretchy pants…

Touch of lace

Or wore a long sleeved shirt while sun bathing.

Touch of Lace — Elizabeth DeLancey

We’ve got a case of Buttaface. When everything’s hot but the face. And that one nipple.

Photo (25)

Eh. Just stick a hat on him.

Also, throw in a really creepy looking covered wagon. That should distract the eye.

Orchids in Moonlight — Patricia Hagan

He wasn’t a very good cowboy. The alpacas were totally in charge.

Screenshot 2014-08-20 at 9.51.53 PM

Also, they’re alpacas.

Cowboy for Sale — Janet Wellington


Please understand that this is not fishing for compliments and/or an ego boost.

As I was up until 5 a.m. trying to finish up the blogs, I realized something: I’m tired of doing this.

I really am. FIVE YEARS, doing this every single day, and I feel kind of unappreciated.

I’ve looked at other blogs that do similar things. Firstly, they’ve all been much younger than we are. Secondly, They don’t update frequently (once or twice a week is a BUSY blog). Most of the time there’s not even an actual caption with what they post (which puts them squarely in a gray area for fair use). Almost everything they post is a submission, so they don’t even have to take the time to search something out. I’m not criticizing them. There’s room for plenty of blogs, and they have a different “schtick” than we do. I enjoy reading them! I like seeing what other people think up.

The thing is, we’ve put a lot of time, effort, and money (we own every single one of the books that we post, unless it’s a submission) into producing these blogs, but we get very little feedback. We appreciate each and every reader. We try to take the time to respond to everyone who talks to us. We try to cultivate a personal relationship with our followers. We seek out people who post on “our” topics.

Our note count doesn’t reflect that. Our number of followers doesn’t reflect a fan base worthy of 5 years worth of work. (Please don’t tell me it’s because I sometimes post personal or unrelated things. I’ve checked out other blogs. I know they do that, too. And, often times, a lot more frequently than we do.)

I get that it can sometimes take a while to make any type of endeavor a success. Well, we’ve put in 5 years of effort, and that’s a lifetime in the internet world.

So here’s the deal: convince me it’s worth the effort. Convince me that being up until 5 a.m. looking for quotes and thinking up captions and trying to entertain our fans is worth it.

Because I’m just plain burnt out.

— The Wife

ETA: We LOST a follower a minute after I posted this.

We realize that cover models are expensive…

The kindling heart

But asking your neighbor’s 19-year-old son to dress up in a bedsheet should not be your second choice.

The Kindling Heart — Carmen Caine

Prince Valium’s second attempt at marriage was slightly more successful.

Once a rebel

Princess Narcolepsy was a much better fit.

Once A Rebel — Tammy Hilz

Asker Avatar
milesmoralesistrans asked:
badlitmakestheworldgoround did a review of "the erect oak" /post/95032396935/


Check it out.

Insert “Pearl Necklace” joke here.

Scan_20140602 (4) - Edited

Also, that’s a spiral.

Circles — Doris Mortman

scarabattoli said: It’s so bad you ask yourself if it’s not trolling. The bad Copy & paste pictures, the tree with two red dots made with paintbrush for eyes, the horrible fonts, it’s the Edwood of book covers.

Floraphilia- The act of sexualizing plant life or floral vegetation.
Meet Bernadine Lestrad, lonely and love sick for a certain Mighty Oak. Excited by her chance meeting with the object of her affection, will she get her ‘happy ending’ after all?”

If someone’s going to try to sell me on tree-fucking, they damn well better do it well. Especially if they want to charge me $1.50 for it.

She was about to discover that the brain is the sexiest part of the body.






Scan_20140408 (5)

Sexy brain

Oooooooh, yeah, that’ll do it.

Gone With the Nerd — Vicki Lewis Thompson

This is what The Girl helps me do at 2:30 a.m.

This is totally normal.

actual synopsis:

Although Zoe Tarleton is box office gold in frivolous movies, she wants respect for her acting, which means landing a role as a genius-level chemist. Nobody expects her to get the part, but she has a secret weapon. She plans a cabin-in-the-woods retreat with a guy who can teach her how to be a nerd – entertainment lawyer Flynn Granger, the most uncool person of her acquaintance. 

Flynn accepts the challenge and discovers a Zoe that no one else knows. As unexpected sparks fly between the geek and the glam girl, eerie noises echo in the woods outside their cabin. Is it the legendary Bigfoot, who has been sighted in these woods? Or is it a stalker who’s targeted Zoe? As the danger escalates, Zoe learns that when the going gets tough, a girl can count on a nerd.


No Bigfoot loving though. that’s a different series.  

These have such bland covers but are are really wacky.

So the character is Denise Richards preparing for her role as Christmas Jones. lol

There is actually one and only one reason we’ve been sitting on this cover. Apparently, “nerd” equals reading glasses.

I’ve known a lot of nerds. I’m a nerd (though I wear contacts). UW is a nerd (and only wears glasses for night-driving). None of our nerdiness requires wearing reading glasses. Because reading glasses are most associated with old people, not nerdiness.

But we thought sexy Krang was funnier. ;)

In my opinion, cute guys with glasses are twice as cute, so the nerd=glasses thing makes no damn sense.  (James Spader in Stargate.)

However, there is only one guy I can think of who can run around wearing glasses like that:

I have also discovered that I have a suit fetish, so there is that.